The Slytherin Way
by Ebenbild
Summary: "You just yelled at me to get me to stop," she pointed out. "It's two weeks until the Yule Ball, I'm a girl, you're a boy and as far as I know you're still without a date – what else should I think at a time like that?" Draco Malfoy really likes to insult Hermione. In fourth year she finally decides to turn the tables on him in a most Slytherin way. Canon compliant.
1. Chapter 1

_**Disclaimer**_ _: I'm too young to be Rowling so there is sadly no way Harry Potter is mine…_

 _ **Placing:**_ _Mid of fourth_ _year_ _._

 _Challenge: 'Prompt of the day'. Prompt_ _: (_ _insult) Monkeyslut_ _. 1317_ _words_ _._ _Gryffindor_ _,_ _Hogwarts_ _._

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sSsSsSsSs

 _ **THE SLYTHERIN WAY**_

sSs

"Mudblood!" Draco Malfoy screamed through the halls of Hogwarts.

A lot of the surrounding students stopped when hearing the insult, but the one aimed for just walked on as if nothing happened.

"Hey Granger!" Malfoy cried again. "I'm calling you! At least react when I bother to take time out of my busy schedule for you, mudblood!"

Hermione turned around to look at her nemesis, rolling her eyes. Throughout the last year, she had grown and now, in fourth year she was a lot less bothered by the insult than she had been when she had been younger.

"Did you want something, Malfoy?" She asked coolly.

Malfoy grinned nastily.

"Why do you think I want something, mudblood?" He asked, obviously waiting for her to react like she had the year before when he insulted her like that.

Hermione decided to ignore his insults instead. He wouldn't get his satisfaction by angering her today.

"Normally people call others when they want something from them," she pointed out while noticing that a lot of other students had stopped to watch their interactions, clearly interested to see how long it would take for Hermione to smack Malfoy again.

Well, Hermione decided that they wouldn't get to see her losing her temper today if she had any say in it at all.

"So what?" Malfoy sneered. "You thought I wanted to talk to you, mudblood?" Then his grin turned evil. "What did you think I wanted to talk to you about? Your impure blood, or what?"

"You called me," Hermione reminded him coolly. "Meaning that you should know what you wanted to talk to me about. How should I know what you wanted to say?"

Then Hermione decided to add a little bit more to her question.

She was sure that she was able to wipe that grin from his face if she just tried.

"But then, considering the time frame and circumstances I guess that I can make a good bet on the topic you wanted to address, so just that you know: If you intend to ask me out for the Yule Ball, I have to disappoint you. I've already been asked," she added, her face kind, but her eyes gleaming maliciously.

Malfoy's eyes widened comically at that.

"What?" He screeched.

It was obvious that he hadn't even thought about a counter like that.

"Yes," Hermione said, misunderstanding him deliberately. "I've been asked. It's not long until the ball, after all, so you shouldn't be too surprised about that!"

"No," Malfoy countered a little bit faintly. "I meant: How did your damaged brain come up with something idiotic like that, mudblood?"

Hermione crooked her head.

"You just yelled at me to get me to stop," she pointed out. "It's two weeks until the Yule Ball, I'm a girl, you're a boy and as far as I know you're still without a date – what else should I think at a time like that?"

Malfoy paled at that.

"No," he croaked. "That's utterly crazy! How touched in the head are you that you think I would ever ask you something like that, Granger?" He asked, a little green in the face.

Hermione just raised an eyebrow at that mockingly while other students around them snickered.

"Well," she said amused. "I just figured that since you're always using the same juvenile insult on me, always screaming after me and always trying to fight my best friends, means that you're either in love with me or maybe with Harry or Ron. Since I'm currently alone here, I just figured that it's me you're crushing on."

To Hermione's amusement, some pupils even nodded at that exclamation, obviously seeing it as a true possibility to explain Malfoy's behaviour.

"What are you talking about, mudblood?" Malfoy asked, his eyes nearly bulging out of his head.

Hermione just shrugged.

"I was walking down the hallway, Harry and Ron nowhere in sight," she pointed out. "And yet, here you are, yelling after me like you always do. I wasn't even near you before, meaning that you had to be on the look-out for me to even see me walking by in this crowd. My parents always told me that a lot of the more immature boys try to 'pull a girl's pigtails' to get their attention."

"I'm not pulling your pigtails in any way or form!" Malfoy said, still a little green in the face. "How did you even come up with such nonsense, mudblood?"

"Well," she said, ignoring the insult. "I simply figured that always using the same insult on me has to mean something else than just the usual cry for attention."

Malfoy opened his mouth, but in the end was unable to say anything, too shocked by her words to even come up with a witty reply.

"I mean," Hermione added. "If you truly aren't interested in me, why do you only just use this one insult on me? Don't you know some others? You have to admit that it sounds odd, doesn't it? One insult for me - and that's it? In the muggle world we're at least creative when it comes to insulting each other – especially when we mean it!"

Malfoy sneered at that.

"Do you want to tell me that the muggle world is better at something than we are, mudblood?" He sneered.

Hermione shrugged.

"At least muggle children are a lot more creative than you are, Malfoy," she answered smugly. "Or is it that your lovesick brain can't find another insult but the one you must have heard since you were in nappies?"

"Bushy haired know-it-all!" Malfoy growled.

Hermione crooked her head.

"Sounds like something Professor Snape might use," she said. "I bet you stole that from him, monkeyface."

"Monkeyslut!" Malfoy countered heatedly and Hermione blinked interestedly.

"Seems I was right," she said surprised. "You _are_ in love with me!"

"What?" Malfoy screeched.

Hermione just rolled her eyes.

"I just called you a monkeyface, Malfoy," she said amused. "And you countered by making me your slut. That should say it all."

She shook her head seemingly sadly at his actions.

"Truly, Malfoy," she said. "If you want to ask me if I go to the Yule Ball with you, just say so. You're obviously really bad when it comes to insulting while trying to hide your crush on me from everybody else."

"I'm not crushing on you!" Malfoy screeched.

To Hermione's amusement a lot of sceptical glances were shot at him at that exclamation.

"You're not crushing on her but you try to ask her out, really, Malfoy?" One of the older Slytherins asked sarcastically. "I've heard better."

"I'm not trying to ask her out!" Malfoy screamed.

Hermione just raised an eyebrow at him.

"Then why did you call after me to begin with?" She asked him, seemingly interested.

"Because you're a mudblood!" Malfoy argued.

"So is at least the half of the other people in this hallway," Hermione returned amused.

Malfoy opened his mouth. Then he closed it again, gawking.

Hermione made sure to look sorrowfully at him.

"I'm sorry, Malfoy," she said. "I understand how hard it is to ask a girl out. I'm even sorrier that I have to turn you down. Truly, if you had been faster, I might have considered it, but I've already agreed to take another. The next time, just ask a little bit earlier, will you?"

And with a pat on Malfoy's cheek, she went on.

Malfoy just stared at her retreating back, still unable to say anything.

"Say, Hermione," Harry asked later that day. "Why is half of Hogwarts consoling Malfoy? Do you know what happened?"

Hermione shrugged and patted Harry's arm.

"As far as I know," she said. "He was turned down by the girl of his dreams. Poor guy!"

This would be the last time that Malfoy would call after her when she walked by in the halls of Hogwarts.

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 _Just a little idea_

 _Hope you liked it_

 _Ebenbild_


	2. Chapter 2

_**Disclaimer**_ _: I'm too young to be Rowling so there is sadly no way Harry Potter is mine…_

 _ **Placing:**_ _Mid of fourth_ _year._

 _Just an idea I had thanks to FawkesyLady's review._

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sSsSsSsSs

 _ **THE SLYTHERIN WAY**_

 _ **PART II**_

sSs

"Alright, Draco," a person said sighing before sitting down next to the Slytherin Prince. "I guess that I can ignore your bad taste in women for now and instead try to help you a little bit with the aspect of 'wooing' the girl you're in love with."

Draco Malfoy turned when he heard those words. He was still a little bit pale from the dispute he had with one Hermione Granger earlier that day and had been sitting in the Slytherin common room for a while now staring into nothing.

"Nott," he said when he recognised the boy, then the boy's words registered and his eyes widened. "What are you talking about?" He asked, turning green again.

Nott rolled his eyes.

"Half of the school has seen your pathetic attempt at asking out that Gryffindor girl of the Golden Trio," he said, sighing. "And truly, for a Slytherin, you've done a disgraceful job in trying to secure you a date."

"I wasn't trying to secure me anything!" Malfoy screeched and Nott sighed.

"Sure, Draco," he said. "Continue to live in denial. It won't help with the fact that you obviously were unable to get a girl to go out with you."

When Malfoy opened his mouth again to object, Nott held up a hand to stop him.

"Doesn't matter if you deny it or not," Nott said. "We all know what you wanted to do in your way too immature way. Since she's already taken, I guess we, the rest of Slytherin can't help you to get the date of your dreams, but we talked and decided to at least teach you how it's done better."

"But," Malfoy tried to object again, but Nott just shook his head.

"No, Draco," he said. "Up you go. Let me show you how to do it right."

And with that he pulled up the Malfoy heir from his position and then forced him to follow him out of the common room.

"Well," Nott said. "The first thing you must know when you pursue a girl as a Slytherin is if she's single."

Malfoy stared at Nott as if he was insane.

Nott just patted his arm and continued to explain.

"Yes, that's important," he said. "Like that a Slytherin won't make a fool out of himself by asking a girl out who definitely already has a date, you know? Well, I can't show you that part, since I already did the inquiry weeks ago – it's important to start early if you want your date to be free when you swoop in to ask her, you know?"

"But," Malfoy said.

"Yes, I know," Nott said. "You were already late and all that. Just know in the future that a Slytherin is always prepared. You inquire if she has a boyfriend and if she hasn't then you inquire if she's still free when it comes to a date for the Yule Ball, or any ball that is, and then you make your move – it's easy, Draco. Just let me show you how to do it."

With that, Nott led his friend towards the kitchens. Near them, halfway on the way to Hufflepuff common room – if you knew that, that is – he stopped, pulled out a delicately wrapped package and set it down on the floor in the middle of the hallway.

"What -?" Malfoy asked with huge eyes.

Nott smirked.

"I've been doing that for weeks now," he said. "Just a little bit of wooing to ensure that she won't object to my inquiry. It's a little bit of a safety-net, you know, Draco? It helps wonders to secure your date."

Malfoy stared at the package as if it would bite him any minute from now.

Nott simply adjusted the parchment attached to it so that the name was clearly readable again.

"Bones," it proclaimed.

Then Nott pulled Malfoy in a hidden alcove near the package. From there they had a good look on the package and the hallway but weren't seen themselves.

"Of course," Nott added in that moment. "Ensuring that you know her schedule is important, too, but you seem to be quite good at that already, so I thought that lecturing you about it could be skipped."

"But," Malfoy said again but was shushed by Nott before he could utter his objection.

Soft footfalls could be heard at the end of the hallway and a second or two later two girls came into view.

"Oh," one of the girls, a petit blond one said. "Look, Susan, a new package for you from your secret admire!"

The other girl smiled and picked up the package.

"How long has he been wooing you already?" Her friend Hannah Abbott asked interested.

"Since the announcement of the Yule Ball," Susan Bones answered smiling. "It's so romantic, Hannah!"

Hannah raised an eyebrow.

"It's definitely every girls dream," she said. "But I hope that he will truly ask you out soon, because if he doesn't, you truly should accept one of the other offers you've gotten. It would be a shame to have to go alone to the Yule Ball because your secret admire was too shy to ask you out!"

"You see," Nott whispered smugly. "She's been waiting for me. I was a little bit nervous about asking her myself, so I ensured that she knew that I was interested while I had time to find the courage to ask her out. Of course, knowing that she likes being wooed a little and that she's a romantic helped me greatly when I tried to come up with a way to ask her out to the ball."

Malfoy stared at Nott with huge eyes, half-disgusted, half-shocked that his year mate had decided to show him how to get a date.

"But," he said and Nott nodded.

"Yes, I haven't secured it, yet," he said. "But that's the easy part. I'm already halfway done with securing it, you know? Let me show you."

With that he stepped out of the alcove, acting for all the world as if he hadn't watched the two girls oh-ing and ah-ing over the crystal rose he had packed so delicately in the package in Susan's hands.

"Ladies," he greeted them and the girls looked up from the rose Susan had found in her package.

"Nott," they greeted him back, not too wary of him since they knew that he had always been quite gentlemanly towards the other houses.

"How are you two this fine day?" He asked.

"We're well, Nott," Susan Bones said. "How are you?"

"I'm quite well myself," he said, then he turned his eyes towards the rose in her hands.

"I see that you found a rose as delicately and beautiful as you are, Miss Bones," he said. "I'm sure that it would look very sweet in your hair at the Yule Ball."

Susan blushed at that.

"Thank you, Nott," she said and he smiled at her.

"Tell me, Miss Bones," he said softly. "I heard that a beautiful girl like you is still without a date for the Yule Ball. Is it true what I heard?"

Susan Bones blushed even more.

"It is," she said. "I'm… I'm waiting for someone special to ask me…"

"She's waiting for her secret admire," Hannah corrected smirking.

Nott just smiled.

"I'm sure he will step forward," he said. "After all, there's no way that he would shower a girl in chocolate and flowers and poems if he didn't have the intention to step up and ask her out for Yule."

Susan Bones eyes widened at that.

"How do you -?" She asked surprised and Nott pulled out a second package, exactly the same as the first.

"Miss Bones," he said formally, presenting the package with another delicate crystal flower in it to her. "Will you give me the honour of going to the Yule Ball with me?"

"Aw," Hannah sighed next to Susan, while the other girl put down the first package and then reached for the second, blushing.

She opened it to see another crystal flower in it.

"I'd love to, Nott," she said shyly before looking at the crystal flower again.

"I thought that one wouldn't be enough to adorn you hair at Yule," he explained. "So I decided to get you a second one as well."

She smiled at him at that.

"Thank you for all the gifts," she said blushing.

"Well, I had to make sure that my date knows that I adore the ground she walks on," he explained. "What is more perfect than to show it to her in a way I know she would love?"

The answering smile was even more pronounced on the girl's face while her best friend cooed a little bit more.

"Thank you, Theodore," she finally said, still blushing. "Until Yule!"

"Until Yule," he replied and she picked up her other present and then she and her friend walked on, finally vanishing behind the next corner.

Nott turned towards the alcove and raised an eyebrow at the other boy.

"And that's how you do it the Slytherin way," he explained Malfoy patiently. "Especially when you want the girl to acknowledge and maybe consider you as a boyfriend in the long run, you know?"

"But I don't want to be Granger's boyfriend!" Malfoy howled.

Nott sighed.

"Marriage takes its time, Draco," he said patiently. "I know that you always want everything now, but some things simply take some time – and marriage is one of them. Start it patiently and you will get what you want in the end!"

"But I don't want to marry the mudblood!" Malfoy screeched.

Nott just patted his arm.

"Whatever you say," he said commiseratively. "Whatever you say. I know it's hard to be refused, so if lying to yourself will help you, be my guest. Just know that if you need some more tips how to woo Granger, just ask me. I might not think to highly of her, but if you like her, I'm at least willing to help you to get her. I'm your friend, after all."

And with another pat, he left a stunned Malfoy behind in the hallway to the Hufflepuff common room.

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 _Just a little idea_

 _Hope you liked it_

 _Ebenbild_


	3. Chapter 3

_**Disclaimer**_ _: I'm too young to be Rowling so there is sadly no way Harry Potter is mine…_

 _ **Placing:**_ _Mid of fourth_ _year._

 _Just another idea I had thanks to FawkesyLady's review and PM._

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sSsSsSsSs

 _ **THE SLYTHERIN WAY**_

 _ **PART III: Gryffindor Girls**_

sSs

"H… hey, M…Malfoy!" A voice called Draco Malfoy when he left the Great Hall. It was the weekend, two days after Malfoy had been pulled aside by Nott to learn how a Slytherin got a girl to date him.

He frowned and then turned around, just to find himself face to face with one Neville Longbottom.

"Did you want something, Longbottom?" He asked the other boy sneering. Longbottom flushed, but then resolve returned to his face.

"Actually, I did," he said sincerely, looking Malfoy right in the eye.

"What?" Malfoy sneered. "Do you want me jinx you again, looser?"

To Malfoy's surprise, Longbottom just raised an unimpressed eyebrow at him.

"I… I guess in this case, you're the actual looser, Malfoy," the other boy said while looking Malfoy up and down. "F… from what I heard, you desperately need some lessons how to woo a girl."

Malfoy's eyes widened.

"I don't need any lessons to woo a girl!" He interrupted instantly. "Especially not from the likes of you, Longbottom!"

The other boy just scratched his head thoughtfully.

"The wh… whole school knows that you tried to ask out Hermione," Longbottom pointed out, clearly unimpressed with Malfoy's objection. "I… I think it's clear that you _do_ need some help."

"Even if I needed some help, I never would need the help of a failure and near-squib like you, Longbottom!" Malfoy objected instantly. "Believe me, whatever you can do, I can do it ten times better!"

The other boy frowned at that.

"And yet you failed to secure your date," he pointed out logically, before taking a deep breath. "You know, Malfoy, I don't like you," he said. "And I don't think that you're good enough for Hermione, but I also know how it is to be trapped in the expectations of others, expectations you obviously haven't broken before and now have a hard time trying to break them. So, even if I don't like you, I think I should at least try to help you now when you finally found enough courage to go against everything you ever learned to ask out a girl you normally shouldn't even consider."

"Exactly," Malfoy screeched. "I shouldn't even consider her – so why does everybody suddenly try to push me towards her?"

Longbottom took a deep breath and then patted Malfoy's arm.

"Because obviously people either genuinely want you to be happy, or they want Hermione to be happy and think that you're good for her," he said. "Or they might be like me. They might be people who don't like you but think that you have earned a chance after showing that much courage."

"But I wasn't even trying to show courage," Malfoy whined. "I just –"

"I know," the Longbottom Heir consoled him. "Nevertheless, you showed quite a bit courage by trying to ask her out, even if you truly chose the wrong way to go about it."

"I didn't choose any way," Malfoy whined at that.

"Ah!" Longbottom said at that, suddenly looking at Malfoy as if he had found the answer to the universe. "And there's the reason why it went so pear-shaped in the end! No plan is not a good way to go about it if you aren't used to extemporise."

"But I didn't even want to ask her out!" Malfoy howled. "I just called after her!"

Longbottom just nodded at that and patted the other boy's arm consolingly.

"So it was a spur of the moment thing," Longbottom said wisely, then he frowned. "I guess you really have to work on your preparation then, if you are a guy who might end up asking out a girl the moment he sees her."

Malfoy's eyes widened.

"I don't need to work on anything!" He growled before walking away briskly. "I know exactly what I have to do and how I have to do things like that!"

Longbottom didn't object to Malfoy's brisk walk away from the entrance of the Great Hall. He simply followed the Malfoy Heir until they reached one of the abandoned classrooms in the lower levels and then pulled the other boy inside.

"Even if you know what to do and how to do it," Longbottom said as if their debate hadn't been interrupted at all. "It's always different in the practice, you know?"

"Why by Merlin are you all suddenly after me, anyway!" Malfoy cried frustrated. "I have always done it like that and until now nobody ever said something or tried to tell me what to do or not to do when it comes to Granger!"

At that, an understanding look appeared on Longbottom's face.

"Of course," he said, shaking his head slightly as if Malfoy was an idiot. "And there's the problem, Malfoy! Maybe Slytherin girls like something like that, being wooed by pointing out their ancestry and some such, but a Gryffindor girl… well, let's say they're different."

Malfoy's eyes bulged out at that.

"Different?" He screeched. "Of course the most of them are different! Slytherin girls would think twice about interacting with mudbloods!"

"Not that, Malfoy," Longbottom said, pityingly. "Not that."

Malfoy opened his mouth but Longbottom shushed him before he could say anything.

"Gryffindor girls mostly don't care for blood-purity, that's right, Malfoy," Longbottom explained. "But that's not the only difference. I'm not too sure about Slytherin girls, but the direct approach is mostly the best approach when it comes to Gryffindor girls. You have to be truthful to them. You can used flowery language, if you want to, that is, but you don't have to. Most of the Gryffindor girls are quite willing to go out with you if you just ask them nicely."

"Ask them nicely," Malfoy repeated, a little bit green in the face while picturing himself and Granger conversing 'nicely'.

Longbottom nodded.

"You know, what?" He finally said thoughtfully. "Maybe showing you is the best idea, so that you can get a feeling for the differences."

"Showing…?" Malfoy squeaked.

Longbottom just nodded severely.

"Let's go, Malfoy," he said. "I'll show you, since I haven't ask a girl, yet. Believe me, when you have seen it once, you will notice that it isn't as complicated as you think that it is."

And with that, Longbottom grabbed Malfoy's arm and pulled him along, outside of the classroom and up a few stairs.

"Hmm…" Longbottom contemplated. "I guess we try the library first. If she isn't there then I will have to ask her to follow me out of the common room, because there's no way I'm letting you inside our common room. My commiseration only goes that far, you know?"

"But I don't need any lessons in how to approach a Gryffindor girl!" Malfoy protested horror-stricken.

Longbottom sighed at that.

"But you do, Malfoy," he said sighing. "I know that you might have been taught how to approach a Slytherin girl, but that doesn't help you at all in your case. Let me show you how it's really done when you want to ask out a Gryffindor girl!"

"But I don't want to ask out a Gryffindor girl!" Malfoy complained while trying to free himself from Longbottom's grip fruitlessly. For such a timid boy, Longbottom sure had quite a strong grip.

"I understand that you think that Hermione isn't like any other Gryffindor girl," Longbottom said patiently. "She sure is a lot more Ravenclaw in some of her characteristics. Nevertheless, she's quite Gryffindor as well, and she won't mind it at all when you come at her like any other boy in Gryffindor would. I think it even might flatter her if you tried to act a little bit like her house in this regard. But then, I guess you figured that out already since you tried to ask her somewhat openly."

"I didn't –"

"Nevertheless, for all the mantra of direct approach, you shouldn't neglect the most basic part in all this," Longbottom continued as if Malfoy hadn't tried to protest at all. "The first thing is always to ask if she's still single, or if you know that if she's still without a date for the Yule Ball. Just start with that question and everything should fall into place naturally."

"I wouldn't even think about asking a girl that!" Malfoy complained. "Besides, Nott said that I had to find that out before approaching a girl!"

Longbottom thought that over.

"Well," he said. "I guess that's the Slytherin way. I don't think a Gryffindor girl would mind if you inquired about her before, but just so that you know: Gryffindor girls don't expect you to know if they're single or without a date. Asking is always an option with them."

"But I don't want to ask!"

"Then don't and do it the Slytherin way," Longbottom sighed. "Just don't do it like you did with Hermione. That was really pathetic, you know? Even we Gryffindors know that we have to know if a girl is single first before asking – well, at least the most of us do."

Malfoy opened his mouth to protest some more, when Longbottom held up his hand, stopping the Malfoy Heir before he could start to talk again.

"Here she is," Longbottom said, pulling Malfoy closer to one of the girls working in the library. She was a red-head, but it took Malfoy a moment or two to place her as the youngest Weasley.

"Just stand here and listen," Longbottom instructed Malfoy in that moment. "You should be close enough to hear us from here."

Malfoy was actually too stunned to react or to do anything but what he had been instructed to do, when he noticed that the looser Longbottom strode up to the Weaslette with a confidence in his stride he hadn't shown anywhere before.

"Ginny," Longbottom said the moment he was about two feet away from the girl.

The Weaslette looked up.

"Neville," she greeted him smiling.

The other boy smiled back.

"Tell me, Ginny," he said. "Do you have a date for the Yule Ball, yet?"

Ginny looked at him in surprise.

"The ball is for fourth year up," she reminded him. "I'm a third year."

Longbottom smile grew a little at that.

"So you don't?" He clarified.

"Yes," she said, looking at him a little confused. "Why do you ask?"

"Ah… well, because I still need one, and since we're good friends, I thought that maybe you would do me the honour and go to the Yule Ball with me?" Longbottom replied, sounding oddly sure of himself considering that he was such a timid boy, normally.

Malfoy wondered how Longbottom could even muster enough courage to approach a girl, nevertheless asking her out to the ball!

He had always thought of the Longbottom Heir as a spineless idiot. Malfoy guessed that he would have to think over the spineless bit a bit more in the future.

The girl on the other hand smiled at Longbottom's question.

"Oh, I'd love to!" She replied smiling. "Thank you for inviting me, Neville! I had hoped to be allowed to go and I was crushed that I couldn't because I was a third year! Thank you for giving me a way to come along nevertheless!"

"Hey, that's what friends are for!" Longbottom answered. "Of course, the whole thing goes both ways: You get to go to the ball and I have the honour of accompanying one of the most beautiful girls in Hogwarts!"

The Weaslette laughed at that and for a moment Malfoy felt an odd twinge of jealousy. That idiotic squib had managed to ask a girl out without even showing a hint of nervousness – every Slytherin would feel a little bit jealous of a poker-face like that!

"So… I'll see you later?" Weaslette asked Longbottom shyly.

The other boy nodded.

"I'll have to go to the greenhouses a bit, since I'm helping Professor Sprout," he said to her. "But I'll be back in the common room at seven. We can talk about matching colours and all that then, alright?"

Weaslette nodded and Longbottom turned around, grabbed Malfoy's arm and went on to leave the library.

It was when they had reached the halls again that Malfoy became aware that he could have left while Longbottom was busy asking out the Weaslette.

Longbottom meanwhile just looked at him severely.

"And that's how you ask out a Gryffindor girl," he said. "Like I said, if you know the principles, it's quite easy."

Malfoy looked a little bit green.

"I'm definitely never doing it that way!" He complained.

Longbottom just sighed at that.

"Hermione is a Gryffindor, Malfoy," he explained patiently. "If you want to ask her out, you should at least know how it's done correctly."

"But I don't want to ask out the mudblood!" Malfoy whined.

Longbottom just looked at him pityingly.

"Don't worry, Malfoy," he said. "I understand that the rejection hurt and that you need some time to accept it. If you want to live in denial until you're hurting less, be my guest. Just know that I think that you were very brave back then. Don't give up now, maybe she will at least say 'yes' to a date if you ask her nicely."

And with a last pat he left Malfoy standing in the hallway.

"But I don't want to go out with Granger at all!" Malfoy complained to the empty air.

Regretfully, nobody heard or believed him.

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 _Just a little idea_

 _Hope you liked it_

 _Ebenbild_


	4. Chapter 4

_**Disclaimer**_ _: I'm too young to be Rowling so there is sadly no way Harry Potter is mine…_

 _ **Placing:**_ _Mid of fourth_ _year._

 _Challenge: 'Prompt of the day'. Prompt_ _: (_ _dialogue) "Or else the birds will crawl into the vodka!"_ _1712_ _words_ _._ _Gryffindor_ _,_ _Hogwarts_ _._

 _Challenge_ _:_ _'March_ _Madness_ _'._ _Prompts_ _: (_ word) wanderlust, (song) 'Crazy'–Britney Spears _;_ (creature) garden gnome _;_ (object) pink dress; (colour) alabaster _;_ (word) investigate

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sSsSsSsSs

 _ **THE SLYTHERIN WAY**_

 _ **PART IV: Ravenclaw Help**_

sSs

Draco Malfoy was in a good mood. Since the _incident_ – the day Hermione Granger had decided to turn his insult around and see it as a declaration of love for herself – he had been hunted down by people who wanted to console him that 'the girl of his dreams' was going with another boy to the Yule Ball. Malfoy had hated it, had even tried to flee it without any chance of actually escaping.

But then, finally he had found his freedom again.

For two day now he hadn't been in any way or form consulted how to get a Gryffindor girlfriend or consoled for his inability to ask out Hermione Granger.

He guessed, that after two days of freedom, it was a clear sign that the whole debacle was finally over.

So, instead of hiding away in the kitchen, he entered the Great Hall for the first time since the whole trouble with Granger had started. He held his head high and played up the pureblood as good as he could to ensure that even the last traces of the idea of him and Granger would finally come to rest in the minds of his schoolmates.

"Draco," Pansy said surprised when he sat down next to her. "I thought you were still licking your wounds in the kitchen!"

Draco threw her a nasty look and then went for the potato mash.

"I was not 'licking my wounds'!" He replied a little bit miffed. "I just had to wait out until everybody else would finally forget that ridiculous notion of me and Granger!"

Pansy and a few of the other Slytherins exchanged a glance at that.

"Of course, Draco," Pansy finally said evenly. "Whatever you say, dear."

Draco decided that those words weren't worth reacting to and instead went for some of the steaks.

It was when he was done and about to leave the hall, that it happened.

One minute he was walking normally towards the door, the next a book-bag made him stumble.

"Oh, Malfoy, I'm sorry!" Granger said while pulling at the shoulder strap of her book-bag which she had been in the process to slit in.

Draco sneered.

"Watch what you're doing where, Granger!" He snarled. "I'm not interested in being shoved to the floor!"

Granger just raised an eyebrow at that.

"I guess you prefer to do the shoving," she said dryly.

"Exactly," Malfoy replied. "Believe me, mudblood, I would enjoy you being on your knees before me."

Before he could say anything else, he was slapped on the back of his head.

He turned around – just to look into the dreamy eyes of a girl in Ravenclaw robes.

"I know she drives you crazy, Draco Malfoy," the girl said dreamily, "but please refrain from using descriptions like that in front of the first years."

"What?" Malfoy looked at the odd girl in confusion. The girl instead just sighed.

"Please, Draco Malfoy," she said. "If you continue to behave like that she will never like you back."

And with that she walked off as if nothing happened.

Malfoy followed her with his eyes for a moment or two, but then he noticed the expectant gazes lingering on him and he fled the Great Hall.

It seemed that he had been wrong and it wasn't over yet at all…

That only got confirmed when in the middle of the afternoon classes, suddenly an alarm could be heard throughout the castle.

McGonagall stopped mid-talk with a frown.

"Well, children," she said. "That sounds oddly like a muggle fire alarm. Stay here and I will take a look."

The students in class with Malfoy looked at each other nervously. Especially the muggleborns seemed unhappy at the thought of having to stay inside the classroom.

Then the door to the classroom opened and the odd Ravenclaw girl from lunch stepped inside.

"Hello, Draco Malfoy," she said. "The garden gnomes told me to get you. They think that you need some help when it comes to asking girls out and decided that I might be the right person to help you with that."

Malfoy just stared at her in horror.

She had changed out of her Ravenclaw robes and into a frilly pink dress which emphasized her alabaster skin and her golden hair. She looked like a doll.

"Come on, now, Draco Malfoy," she repeated. "Or else the birds will crawl into the vodka!"

"What?" Malfoy squeaked, actually for once in his life unsure how to deal with someone. Now that he could take a good look at the girl, he recognised her as Luna Lovegood, Xenophilius Lovegood's daughter.

While the father of Luna Lovegood definitely was quite… strange, the family was still pureblood and well respected even with their tendencies to write about odd creatures.

Normally Malfoy guessed that his father would keep a cool distance to the girl or her father, but when Luna Lovegood latched onto Malfoy's arm, his thoughts of trying to stay at a distance were destroyed instantly.

The girl just looked up to him and smiled.

"Come now, Draco Malfoy," she said. "Let's act out our wanderlust and search for a way that will help you to get the girl of your dreams even with the unfortunate speech-jumble curse you're under."

And with that she pulled him out of the classroom.

"But… what about the alarm?" Malfoy asked while trying to free his arm from the girl's grip fruitlessly.

"Hmm?" Luna Lovegood said dreamily. "Oh, I set it," she confessed. "It was easier to get you out of the classroom like that – especially since my yak is currently on holidays."

Malfoy sneered.

"You set the alarm just to get me outside the classroom?" He asked unimpressed. "Just to force me to go on a hunt for garden gnomes?"

"Oh, no," Luna replied. "The gnomes just told me to get you. We've left the classroom because now is the best time to investigate how to ask out a girl!"

"How the hell did you figure that out, Loony?" Malfoy asked snidely.

Luna Lovegood just shrugged.

"It was easy," she said, then she crooked her head. "Well, at least it was easy for a Ravenclaw," she amended. "And now quit stalling or I will have to think up another way to get you out of the classroom tomorrow for the continuation of our lesson!"

Malfoy had the odd feeling that she actually meant it – and that thought didn't reassure him at all…

Still, that didn't stop him from trying to escape.

Sadly, 'trying' was the word of the hour. The Ravenclaw had, like Malfoy found out when she let go of him to open a door, done a spell that kept him in place. His hands were literally frozen to the arms of her pink dress.

Malfoy wasn't happy with that discovery at all.

"Alright," the girl said while pulling her wand and casting two more spells on them. "We're here."

Malfoy frowned.

They were near the charms corridor in front of one of the unused classrooms.

Luna Lovegood simply opened the door and forced Malfoy to follow her in.

She closed the door behind them and then led them into a corner.

Two minutes later, the door opened again and a Ravenclaw boy escorted a Hufflepuff girl inside.

"What the hell?" Malfoy exclaimed and was surprised when neither of the two newcomers reacted.

"They can't hear or see us," Lovegood said. "I made sure of that before we entered the room."

Malfoy wasn't sure that he liked the implication.

Then the Ravenclaw boy went down on one knee in front of the Hufflepuff girl.

"Hannah," he said. "Would you do me the honour of going to the Yule ball with me?"

Malfoy felt nearly nauseous by just watching this lovey-dovey behaviour.

The girl on the other hand started to smile.

"Anthony!" She exclaimed joyfully. "Of course I will, do you even have to ask?"

"Well," the boy said. "You might have been my girlfriend for a month now, but that doesn't automatically imply that you will go with me to the ball. I thought that the least I could do was to actually ask you!"

The girl smiled at that.

"Well," Lovegood said. "That means our part here is done. Hurry up! On to the next location!"

When Draco Malfoy finally returned to his common room, it was just before curfew.

"Where were you all day?" Pansy asked him frowning.

Malfoy just looked at her a little bit dazed.

"Everywhere at Hogwarts," he said, a little bit green in the face.

Pansy's frown just deepened.

"Why?" She asked confused and watched when Malfoy simply collapsed onto one of the couches.

"Lovegood insisted on teaching me how to ask a girl out," he whispered, still horrified. "And then I had to train with her until I had about seventy different ways to ask a girl memorized. I know now more of the different ways girls of different houses like to be proposed to than I care about."

"Well, that's… nice," Pansy settled on carefully.

Malfoy just turned a little bit greener.

"Very nice," he replied, clearly not meaning it at all. "She also copied down my schedule and set up some more practice time for me on the weekend."

At that he turned his soulful eyes at Pansy.

"Please!" He begged. "Safe me from Loony Lovegood."

Pansy thought that over for a moment.

Then she shook her head.

"No," she said. "This is your own fault. You couldn't hold your mouth – you have to suffer the consequences. It's as easy as that. I fear you're out of luck there, Draco!"

Malfoy just groaned at that.

"Kill me now!" He begged.

"No," Pansy said. "I don't fancy having to explain to your father why I decided to off his sole heir. Also, I like my position as a free member of our society far too much to consider your request."

Malfoy just groaned again.

"Alright," he said. "I'm off then to jump of the Astronomy Tower."

Pansy nodded.

"Alright," she said. "Have fun!"

Malfoy's eyes widened and he turned around rapidly.

"You won't stop me?" He screeched.

Pansy just shrugged.

"As long as I'm not the one who has to explain your demise to your father, I actually don't care," she said sweetly.

"But… but…" Malfoy spluttered.

"But you wouldn't have done it anyway," Pansy added for him. "You wouldn't shame your father by doing something foolish like that just because of some rumours of you and a mudblood. Good night, Draco."

"Night," the still dazed Malfoy heir replied and while Pansy went to bed, the Malfoy heir gave himself over to his misery.

He would never ever get rid of that rumour ever again!

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 _Just a little idea_

 _Hope you liked it_

 _Ebenbild_


	5. Chapter 5

_**Disclaimer**_ _: I'm too young to be Rowling so there is sadly no way Harry Potter is mine…_

 _ **Placing:**_ _Mid of fourth_ _year._

 _Challenge: 'Prompt of the day'. Prompt_ _: (_ _dialogue) "However you imagine your future, take me out of it!"_ _1623_ _words_ _._ _Gryffindor_ _,_ _Hogwarts_ _._

 _Just an idea I had thanks to a guest reviewer's review._

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sSsSsSsSs

 _ **THE SLYTHERIN WAY**_

 _ **PART V: Asking After Rejection**_

sSs

One and a half days after seeing half of Hogwarts proposing, Draco Malfoy had been walking down the halls after one of the lessons Luna Lovegood had forced him to attend when he was suddenly grabbed and pulled into an empty classroom.

He scowled and looked up at his attacker – just to see the Weasley twins in front of him.

"Weasley!" He snarled. "What are you doing, pulling me in here?"

The twins exchanged a look with each other.

"We heard," one of them said.

"That you tried to ask out Hermione for the Yule Ball," the other one added.

Both of them looked oddly serious compared to their normal behaviour.

Malfoy growled.

"I didn't try to ask out Granger!" He objected instantly.

The twins frowned at him.

"So you deny that you stopped her in the middle of the hall?" One of them asked.

Malfoy flushed.

"No," he growled, unhappy that he had to say that, but then, too many had seen him stopping her, so denying wouldn't help him at all.

"By calling after her?" The other twin added in that moment.

"No," Malfoy growled again.

The twins exchanged a glance and raised an eyebrow simultaneously.

"Sounds like asking her out to us," they said.

"I know how it sounds to anyone else!" Malfoy growled finally. "Believe me! I had to notice after the third person stopping me to give me some advice how to ask out the mudblood!"

The twins exchanged another glance.

"Just three?" One of them asked.

"You definitely need more help than that!" The other one added.

"I don't need…" Malfoy objected.

"You need all the help you can get," one of the twins said earnestly.

"Absolutely all the help you can get," the other twin said nodding.

Malfoy scowled again.

"I definitely don't need your help!" He argued.

This time the left twin alone raised an eyebrow.

"I've already got a date," he said. "And I had it within seconds after the announcement."

"And if Fred can get a date just seconds after the announcement," said the other twin, George, Malfoy guessed.

"While you still destroy your chances for one weeks later," Fred added.

"Then you need our help!" The twins chorused.

Malfoy groaned.

"I've had enough help," he finally said sourly. "I don't need any more help!"

The twins again looked at each other.

"Alright," George said and a feral grin spread over his features.

"Show us," the other twin said.

"And we will judge you ourselves," they chorused.

"If you do it right," Fred said.

"Then we'll let you go," George added.

"If you do it wrong," Fred warned.

"Then you will have to submit to our teaching," George said.

Malfoy groaned again.

He wanted to object, but even as a Slytherin, he knew the twins. If he said no, they would force him to attend whatever lesson they wanted him to learn, if he did it instead, he might be able to get rid of them. The twins were a lot, but they were fair – even Malfoy knew that.

"Alright," he said, figuring that it was the only way to get rid of the twins without any more lessons he had to attend. "I'll do it and then leave me be!"

The twins nodded, both now wearing matching grins that gave Malfoy the creeps.

Then one of the twins stepped forward.

"Well, Malfoy," he said. "Show me what you can. Imagine I'm Hermione, and tell me what you want to tell me!"

The other twin waved his wand and suddenly instead of a Weasley twin, Malfoy was confronted with an illusion of the Gryffindor book-worm.

He swallowed.

Then he straightened his shoulders and decided to go for it.

"Granger," he said quite unhappily, before forcing himself to show confidence he didn't feel. "You know you and I hate each other, considering that I'm a pureblood and you're a mudblood. Anyway, even with this particular important difference everybody else seems to think that I have to ask you out to the Yule Ball. So, because I decided it wasn't worth the hassle of trying to stop everybody else believing that we should go together, feel honoured, because I graciously decided to take you to the Yule Ball even with the tainted blood inside your veins."

'Hermione's' face turned into a sneer.

"Malfoy," 'she' said sweetly. "However you imagine your future, take me out of it!"

Malfoy gaped.

"What?" he screeched.

The twin in front of him removed the glamour and rolled his eyes.

"Seriously, Malfoy," he said amused. "After that proposal…"

"Our little brother looked good," the other twin said grinning.

"And he was covered in drool," Fred said.

"And stuttering," George added.

Malfoy grimaced just at the thought of being compared to Ronald Weasley – especially the Ronald Weasley who had confessed his undying love to the blond veela in the middle of the entrance hall just a few hours ago.

"I'm way better than that!" he objected furiously. "You can't even compare my performance with his!"

One of the twins patted his head.

"Sure, Malfoy," he said, sounding for all that it's worth as if he was just humouring the younger boy. "You definitely can't compare your performance with his –"

"You just get about the same reaction from it," the other twin added, nodding sympathetically.

"But we can help you to work on that," the first twin said.

"Totally help you to work on that," the other said.

"And maybe –"

"Just maybe –"

"A very unlikely maybe –"

"You will learn to ask Hermione out –"

"Before our little brother learns to open his mouth –"

"And ask her out –"

"Without insulting her!"

Malfoy stared at the twins.

"Granger and Weasley?" He asked a little bit green in the face.

"Only if you aren't fast enough," one of the twins soothed him.

"We're sure," the other one added.

"You've still got a chance," the first one said.

"Even if it's just a small one –"

"A very, very small one –"

"Because they're already awfully close –"

"But still a chance –"

"To get her before our beloved little brother –"

"Grows up enough to recognise girls."

Malfoy turned even greener.

"But I don't want Granger!" he objected. "Weasley can have her in all her muddy glory!"

One twin patted his head consolingly.

"It's hard to be rejected," he said softly. "I know!"

"He was as well," the other twin added sadly.

"Yes," the twin patting Malfoy's hair said. "But then I had only a minimal chance of success in the first place –"

"Very minimal -"

"Barely non-existent –"

"But still a chance!"

"But still a chance," the twin patting Malfoy's hair said and then sighed. "Oh, McGonagall! I wish you would have said 'yes'!"

His twin stepped forward to pat his twins hair like his twin had done to Malfoy.

"This time," the second twin, Malfoy guessed it was Fred, since Fred already had a date and hadn't been rejected. "You will have success, brother of mine! I'm sure of it!"

The other twin, George, sighed and nodded.

"I hope I will," he said dramatically. "After McGonagall ripping my heart out, I feel raw and thoroughly unprepared…"

His twin nodded.

"But I will prevail!" George claimed. "And I will go into this battle a second time! And this time, this time, my brother, I will succeed like you succeeded!"

"Well spoken, my brother," Fred said. "Very well spoken indeed!"

Then both twins turned to Malfoy.

"Now, Malfoy," Fred said. "Let's go out and let us show you how a heart-broken man handles a second try after a rejection!"

"Oh, yes, let's do this, brother dear, unto success or utter defeat for me!" George cried. "They will either have to carry my dead body from the battlefield or I will carried out on the shoulders of others after my victory!"

With that, both twins grabbed one of Malfoy's shoulders and forced him to come with them.

They marched him down the halls and out of the castle, all the way to the lake.

There, George let go of him while Fred's hold tightened.

George meanwhile stepped forward to a girl sitting on the shore of the lake, reading.

For a moment he looked as if he was faltering and looked back at his brother and Malfoy.

Fred gave him a thumbs-up and George straightened again and marched towards the girl with new confidence.

"Katie!" He called and the girl looked up from her book.

"Forge," she said.

George grinned.

"It's George today, Katie," he said before sitting down next to her. "What are you reading?"

" _Transfiguration_ _Today_ ," she answered showing him her book.

"Well, I haven't read that one," George said and Katie laughed.

"I guessed as much, considering how often you and Fred are in the library!" She exclaimed.

George blinked seemingly confused.

"Library?" He asked. "What library?"

"Exactly," Katie said laughing.

"Katie," George said in that moment. "May I ask you something?"

Katie blinked surprised but nodded.

"Sure, George," she said. "What do you want to ask?"

"Would you…" for a moment George hesitated, then he took a deep breath and continued. "Would you like to go to the Yule Ball with me?"

Katie looked at him with huge eyes.

Then she smiled brightly.

"I'd love to!" She exclaimed happily. "I'd absolutely love to!"

"And that," Fred whispered into Malfoy's ear, "Is how you ask a girl out after being rejected once."

With that he let go of Malfoy.

Malfoy meanwhile stared at the scene in front of him in horror.

Then he fled, deciding to hide out in the Slytherin common room.

He had enough of being taught how to 'ask out a girl' for today!

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 _Just a little idea_

 _Hope you liked it_

 _Ebenbild_


	6. Chapter 6

_**Disclaimer**_ _: I'm too young to be Rowling so there is sadly no way Harry Potter is mine…_

 _ **Placing:**_ _Mid of fourth_ _year._

 _Challenge: 'Prompt of the day'. Prompt_ _: (_ _location) garden._ _1610_ _words_ _._ _Gryffindor_ _,_ _Hogwarts_ _._

 _Just an idea I had thanks to EmmALewisS' review._

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sSsSsSsSs

 _ **THE SLYTHERIN WAY**_

 _ **PART VI: Behind The Scene**_

sSs

Hermione Granger was walking in the gardens of Hogwarts, trying to relax after a day full of homework and classes, when Harry Potter found her.

"Harry," she said surprised. She had thought that the other boy was somewhere inside, sulking. Harry had been sulking now for weeks – ever since the teachers had told them about the Yule Ball.

"Hermione!" he said, then frowned. "Have you heard the newest gossip, yet?"

She raised an eyebrow at him.

"Which one?" She asked. "That one about George asking out McGonagall after classes?"

"No," Harry replied before doing a double-take. "Wait! George asked out _McGonagall_?"

"He did," Hermione replied. "At least according to rumour."

"Why did he ask out McGonagall?" Harry asked confused.

Hermione raised an eyebrow.

"Because it's George?" She asked sarcastically. "I've always wondered if one of the twins doesn't have a crush on her. They're far too often caught by her and nobody else, you know…"

"But –"

"And they're immature enough to believe that even negative attention is still attention," Hermione added sighing. "Honestly, those two! I'm surprised that at least Fred already has a date for the Yule Ball!"

"George has one as well," Harry said glumly.

Hermione looked at him surprised.

"When did that one happen?" She asked. "I haven't heard that he has asked out anybody else…"

Harry shrugged.

"Dunno," he said. "But Katie Bell came into the common room before I went looking for you and told Alicia that George asked her out to the Yule Ball."

Hermione couldn't help but look a little bit stunned at that.

"The twins don't waste time, huh?" She said surprised. "I'm really surprised that they're mature enough to handle to ask a girl out…"

Harry waved it off.

"That's not important, 'Mione!" He exclaimed. "Did you hear the other rumour?"

Hermione frowned again.

"That one about Seamus and Morag -?"

"No!" Harry cried. "That one about Malfoy and you!"

Hermione blinked surprised.

"Huh?" She asked confused. "What about Malfoy and me?"

"Everyone says he has a crush on you!" Harry exclaimed in disbelieve. "They also say that Malfoy asked you out to the Yule Ball!"

Hermione just raised an eyebrow.

"As long as they don't say that I accepted, that's fine," she stated, softly smiling while hiding the evilness she truly wanted to express after hearing Harry's words.

"Are you crazy, Hermione?" Harry cried. "That's Malfoy, we're talking about! Who knows what he wanted to achieve by that rumour!"

Hermione opened her mouth to reply, when another voice answered for her.

"I don't think that he wanted to achieve anything by it," the voice said dryly.

Harry and Hermione turned towards the new speaker, and Harry's eyes narrowed.

"Nott," he said coolly, clearly unhappy to be anywhere near a Slytherin.

Nott rolled his eyes.

"Potter," he said evenly, without any malice in his voice. "Miss Granger."

"Mr Nott," Hermione replied, keeping to the same politeness he had used on her.

Harry's eyes just narrowed further.

"What do you mean, Nott," he said icily. "When you say he didn't want to achieve anything by those rumours?"

"Exactly what I said," Nott replied sighing. "Honestly, Potter, if you want to spread rumours, listen to them until the end before spreading them further!"

"Huh?" Harry looked confused for a moment, but then suspicion returned to his face.

Hermione decided to intervene before Harry did something stupid.

"Harry," she said softly. "It wasn't Malfoy who spread the rumours this time around."

Harry just frowned.

"Hermione," he said slowly. "That's Malfoy we're talking about! He's always up to something! You can't believe that –"

"Harry," Hermione interrupted him more firmly. "It wasn't Malfoy!"

When Harry didn't look as if he believed her, she rolled her eyes.

Funnily enough, Nott was doing the same.

"It was I who suggested that Malfoy was the one who wanted to ask me out to the Yule Ball, Harry," Hermione said amused.

"You also suggested that he has a crush on you," Nott added as amused as Hermione. "I had a lot of fun with that part…"

Harry stared at Nott with even stronger suspicion.

"But Hermione," he tried to object. "Why would you want to –"

"Because I could," Hermione replied, rolling her eyes. "He is always calling after me in the hallways – I just made sure that he would think twice about it in the future!"

"Quite Slytherin of you, Miss Granger," Nott said, adoration in his voice.

Harry's eyes narrowed.

"Hermione," he said slowly. "Is a Gryffindor, not one of you slimy snakes!"

Nott rolled his eyes.

"Snakes aren't slimy, Potter," he said unamused before turning to look at Hermione. "He's nearly as bad as Malfoy!"

Hermione just looked at Harry in disappointment.

"Maybe you should ask Greengrass to do the same to him like I did to Malfoy," she said, disappointment in her voice.

Harry looked at her in confusion.

"Hermione?" He asked.

"No, Harry," she said. "You're as bad as Malfoy, currently."

Harry's eyes narrowed.

"I'm not anything like Malfoy!" He exclaimed angrily.

"You just insulted Nott just because he is a Slytherin," Hermione pointed out. "You're hostile to him just because of his house –"

"But Hermione!" Harry exclaimed." He's a snake! They're all blood purists and bullies!"

Hermione pointed at Nott who was innocently standing next to them.

"As far as I heard so far, there was not one slur against me in anything he said, currently," she said coolly. "You instead definitely insulted him. In my ears it sounds as if you are the bully and the biased party in this conversation!"

"But 'Mione!" Harry exclaimed scandalised. "He's part of the house which constantly bullies everybody else! He's part of Malfoy's –"

"So what?" Hermione asked. "We're part of Pettigrew's house – does that mean we're all cowards and traitors?"

Harry's eyes widened.

"No!" he exclaimed heatedly. "Of course not!"

"Then why does that mean that everybody had to be like Malfoy just because they're Slytherins?" Hermione asked coolly.

Nott just looked amused.

Harry gawked.

Then his eyes found Nott's and his eyebrows furrowed.

"But he's just like the rest of them!" He said darkly. "He might be able to hide it better, but that doesn't mean –"

"Explain to me why you think he's just like the rest of them," Hermione asked of Harry icily. "And please do it without the words 'Slytherin', 'snake' and 'green'!"

Harry opened his mouth, then closed it again.

"Ron said so," he said petulantly.

Hermione raised an eyebrow.

"Ron also said that you put your name into the Goblet of Fire," she pointed out and Harry pouted.

"Alright!" he gave in. "Alright! You're right, 'Mione!"

Then he turned to Nott.

"Sorry for accusing you of being an evil back-stabber and calling you a slimy snake, Nott!"

Then he sneaked a glance at Hermione to assure himself that he had done the right thing.

She smiled at him.

Nott waved it off.

"I didn't mind the snake part," he said amused. "At least as long as you accept that snakes aren't slimy. As for the back-stabber part, well, I might have done that one to Malfoy recently."

Hermione raised an eyebrow at that.

Harry just looked at Nott unintelligently.

"Huh?" He asked confused.

Nott shrugged.

"I might have taken him to take a look at how to ask a girl out," he said amused. "I thought it justified after he spread the rumour about me having a crush on Sprout."

Harry's eyes nearly bulged out.

"You have a crush on Sprout?" he squeaked.

Nott rolled his eyes.

"My girlfriend is Susan Bones, a Hufflepuff," he said exasperated. "Honestly, Potter!"

Harry looked confused but Hermione snickered.

"He's always near the Hufflepuff common room because of his girlfriend, Harry," she explained. "Not to stalk Professor Sprout as Malfoy tried to make everybody believe."

Harry's brows furrowed at that.

"Malfoy is a git," he finally declare, then he looked at Nott challengingly.

Nott raised both of his hands.

"I definitely won't object that sentiment," he said. "And I'm sure a lot of other Slytherins won't as well. We might be in the same house, but we're quite aware that he's not the nicest person around!"

Harry looked at Nott thoughtfully.

"Somehow," he said. "I guess I might come to like you."

Nott just bared his teeth in something akin to a smile.

"And now tell me how you came up with the idea of making everybody believe that Malfoy wanted to ask you out, 'Mione," Harry added, looking back at Hermione.

The girl grinned.

"Well," she said amused. "With all his calling after me he had it coming."

Nott snorted and nodded.

"Still," Harry said. "It was genius! As if Malfoy would have ever the guts to ask out anybody!"

Hermione just raised an eyebrow at that.

"Says the right one, Harry," she said.

Harry pouted.

"But I don't want to go to the ball!" He whined.

"Wait," Nott said. "He hasn't asked out anybody yet?"

Hermione shook her head.

"He hasn't," she said exasperated.

Nott sighed.

"Alright," he said. "Miss Granger, give him to me and I give him to Greengrass. She might have some tricks for him so that he will learn to ask out a girl."

Hermione thought that over.

"A valid idea," she said slowly. "Sure, take him and try to make him learn. Give my thanks to Greengrass as well!"

Harry's eyes nearly bulged out at that.

"Wha -?" he exclaimed. "Bu… but Hermione!"

Then he was pulled away by Nott towards the castle.

A day later, Harry tried to ask out Cho Chang. It failed spectacularly, but Hermione was proud of him anyway.

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 _Just a little idea_

 _Hope you liked it_

 _Ebenbild_


	7. Chapter 7

_**Disclaimer**_ _: I'm too young to be Rowling so there is sadly no way Harry Potter is mine…_

 _ **Placing:**_ _Mid of fourth_ _year._

 _Just an idea I had thanks to a guest and FawkesyLady's review. (No, it's not Snape, yet… XDD)_

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sSsSsSsSs

 _ **THE SLYTHERIN WAY**_

 _ **PART VII: How To Woo A Girl, Malfoy Style**_

sSs

Draco Malfoy was sitting at the breakfast table, when the owl came.

He had been enjoying his breakfast while simultaneously trying to forget that half of the rumours around him might contain him and his relationship with a certain Gryffindor girl. He had just purred himself another glass of pumpkin juice, when the owl swooped down upon him.

Malfoy frowned when he saw that it was the regal eagle owl his father used.

"Why does Father write to me?" He asked concerned, just to stop dead when he saw the red envelope that the owl bore. It wasn't the only one, but out of the three it bore, it was the most pressing one.

He paled drastically.

"Draco?" Pansy asked him surprised. "Is that a howler?"

"It is," he replied shakily.

It wasn't often, that parents send howlers, but it happened. Normally, others ignored the howler or laughed at them – but with Malfoy's track-record in the last days, he wasn't sure if it would be the case with him this time around as well.

He decided to do the best thing possible.

To get over it as fast as he could.

He grimaced, removed the howler and ripped it open.

"Draco Lucius Malfoy," his father's voice said measuredly. Malfoy was quite happy that his father wasn't loud. The chances that only Nott on the opposite of the table and Pansy and Greengrass next to him would hear were high like that.

Still, Malfoy couldn't even figure out what he had done to enrage his father enough to send a howler…

"What do I have to hear with you asking out a mudblood to the Yule Ball?" His father's voice asked icily.

 _Oh, that's what he had done…_

"Of course I know that you are currently in the middle of puberty, Draco, but as a Malfoy, I expected more of you! I don't fault you for having improper thoughts about a mudblood, but acting on it – and with such a disgrace! – is unbecoming of the Malfoy heir! I taught you better than this! Your mother taught you better than this! Even your godfather taught you better than this!"

Malfoy gulped.

 _How had his father found out about that damn rumour?_

He looked around the table, wondering which Slytherin had written home about that damn rumour, then he stopped and groaned mentally.

Most likely all of them had.

It might have taken some time, but eventually the rumour seemed to have reached his father's ears.

"Merlin," he breathed. "Kill me now!"

"I told you I won't," Pansy replied, not the least bit sorry for her friend. "And I don't think that Merlin will help you in that endeavour as well. You should have asked Morgana if you truly meant it."

Malfoy just groaned while wallowing in his misery.

Meanwhile his father's message continued.

"You, my dear son, will learn how to behave properly!" His father's cool voice said in that moment. "I will now pretend that I actually don't care that your first try to ask out a girl was a mudblood – and continue on to your poor behaviour as a whole! Truly, my son! Asking out a girl like that is a disgrace to our name! I thought I taught you better than that! I know I taught you the rules of a Malfoy when it comes to wooing a girl! It seems I was wrong!"

There was a sigh at that part, and Malfoy paled.

His father never sighed – except he was building up to a lecture.

Malfoy didn't want a lecture, especially not in front of his peers at the breakfast table…

He looked around cautiously and was happy that at least his father was silent enough that except of his neighbours – Nott, Pansy and Greengrass seemed quite interested in the howler – nobody seemed to have actually noticed.

"Since I am not at Hogwarts and refuse to come to Hogwarts just because of a trivial matter like that, I decided to write you a howler. I am quite aware that I send you a letter with the information about those rules just a few weeks ago, but since you seemed to have ignored my advice, I felt it necessary to make sure that you won't ignore it this time around – and if that means to write a howler, so be it!" His father's voice droned on.

Malfoy cringed.

He remembered the letter.

He had hidden it away in the bottom of his trunk after finding out what it was about.

"I will leave of the later phases, since I am sure I will have time to lecture you about them in person when I bring you home after the Yule Ball, but I will at least spell out the rules about wooing," his father's voice continued and Malfoy relaxed a bit. At least his father wouldn't talk about the birds and the bees again…

But then, the rest of the letter Malfoy had gotten a few weeks ago hadn't been that much better…

Malfoy cringed.

"As a Malfoy," his father started to lecture in that moment. "It's your duty to make sure in advance that the girl you plan to ask out is from a standing benefitting for a Malfoy."

Malfoy could just imagine his father walking up and down his office while lecturing him.

He cringed again.

"She should not only have a good grasp about her own standing but also know how to behave in a public setting," his father's voice continued mercilessly.

"Any way of stopping the howler somehow?" Malfoy as desperately, looking at the other three who listened it.

Nott shrugged.

"I know how to make it louder," he offered.

Malfoy gulped.

"No," he said immediately. "Thank you, Nott."

The boy shrugged and then returned to listening to Malfoy's father's description of the perfect girl for a Malfoy.

"Your father definitely has some high expectations," Pansy said dryly in that moment.

Malfoy shuddered and nodded.

"Regretfully he does," he offered unhappily.

"After you have made sure all of that, you go on and make sure that she's actually not in a binding contract or in any other kind of relationship," his father lectured in that moment. "And just then, Draco, when you have all facts together, you make your move – do you understand? That's the total opposite to what you did, as I heard!"

Malfoy whimpered inwardly and wondered how long the lecture would be that he would receive after the Yule Ball…

"If you are finally ready to make your move, you will make sure that you either wear clothing you bought especially for that day – or the best clothing you have in your possession as long as you're in school! You will spend your morning on your appearance and then, when you're satisfied that you look your best, then you will finally be allowed to ask out the girl you are aiming for! You will ask her away from her friends, into a location you chose beforehand and prepared for this exact moment if you have to – and then you will woo her with compliments before finally asking the question you wanted to ask her from the start! Do you understand me, son?"

Malfoy nodded even if he knew that his father couldn't actually see him right now.

"Also, son," his father added. "Work on your compliments. Wooing the girl with the purity of her blood might be a good idea, but girls normally take it poorly if you don't at least add a compliment for her appearance and clothing in there as well."

Greengrass snickered at that and Malfoy shot her a dark look.

"The rest I will explain to you over Christmas," his father added. "I also added a list of possible compliments you could use for a girl and some charms that will help you with your own appearance just for that sake. I expect you to learn it all. The last letter is from your mother. Oddly enough, she insisted to send one as well. Sincerely, your Father."

The howler fizzled out and Malfoy wondered if his father would mind if his heir started to hide beneath the table.

Greengrass snickered again and reached for the envelope that obviously contained the list.

"Hey!" Malfoy protested. "What do you think you're doing?"

Pansy snickered as well and took the letter from Greengrass to hold it out for Malfoy.

He grumbled but ripped it open.

Suddenly he had a girl right and left looking over his shoulder.

"Oh," Greengrass said amused. "That's a classy one! ' _Your eyes are bright like the stars at the night sky'_!"

"I actually like the one about Slytherin," Pansy giggled. " _Your eyes are as green as Slytherin's proud crest_!"

Nott snorted.

"Any other good ones?" He asked.

"Oh, plenty," Pansy ensured. "There's that one about pink dresses…"

Malfoy flushed, closed and hid the letter.

"I think I read this one elsewhere," he decided desperately. "Let's see what mother writes."

He reached for his last letter and opened it.

He read the first sentence and gulped.

This wasn't much better at all.

" _Dear Draco,_ " it said.

" _I am so proud of you, my son! I know, it is hard to find your own way, and I know that your father wants you to continue his own path – but know, that I, as your mother, will always be proud of you, no matter what! I am happy that you decided to follow your heart just this once in your life, but baby, please consider your upbringing the next time around, will you? I don't mind that you asked out that girl – you seemed to be oddly obsessed with her for years after all! – but the next time, pull her aside and at least try to use some of the Malfoy way of doing things like that, will you?_

 _Anyway, don't listen to your father if he tells you asking her out was wrong. I am sure she is a lovely girl and someone who could keep you in line without any trouble._

 _The next time, just use a little bit more subtleness, cunning and Malfoy heritage – and I'm sure she will give in and say 'yes', if that's what you want to._

 _Just know that whatever you decide I am proud of you, my son._

 _All my love_

 _Your Mother._ "

"I'm never going to live that down!" Malfoy moaned, crumbled up his mother's letter and decided to hide in the common room for the rest of the day.

He had absolute cero interest in even more advice from who knows who in this cursed school!

If even his parents believed that rumour – then Draco definitely didn't want to find out who else!

"Maybe," he thought darkly. "The Astronomy tower might be a good idea after all…"

Regretfully, Malfoy knew that he would never jump from the tower. He couldn't tarnish the Malfoy name like that after all!

"Yule Ball is soon," he thought desperately. "It should be over then!"

Just one and a half weeks, then he would be free! And what else could go wrong? He had gotten a letter from his _father_ about that damn rumour already, after all!

"Hello, Draco Malfoy," a voice next to him said suddenly before his right hand was attached to another arm. "Ready for your lesson today?"

It seems that Loony Lovegood had found him before he had reached the safety of his common room, after all.

"I'm cursed," Malfoy moaned inwardly. "Cursed!"

And with that he was dragged off to more lessons on _'How To Woo A Girl, Ravenclaw's Style'_ …

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 _Just a little idea_

 _Hope you liked it_

 _Ebenbild_

 _PS: I am working on my other stories (including Basilisk-born!) I promise! I'll try to update them asap... T.T_


	8. Chapter 8

_**Disclaimer**_ _: I'm too young to be Rowling so there is sadly no way Harry Potter is mine…_

 _ **Placing:**_ _Mid of fourth_ _year._

 _Challenge: 'Prompt of the day'. Prompt_ _: (_ _action) betraying someone/ being betrayed._ _1527_ _words_ _._ _Gryffindor_ _,_ _Hogwarts_ _._

 _Just an idea I had thanks to northern sunstone's review._

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sSsSsSsSs

 _ **THE SLYTHERIN WAY**_

 _ **PART VIII: Understanding A Girl, House-elf Style**_

sSs

Malfoy couldn't help but think that this was the ultimate betrayal.

After having to endure Lovegood, other Slytherins, Gryffindors and his own parents giving him advice how to court Granger – this was the ultimate, absolute betrayal.

Malfoy felt slighted by his destiny.

"So's you's here former Master Draco to learn how to court a nice girl like Harry Potter's Grangy girl," Dobby, the former Malfoy house-elf explained. "We's house-elves have lots and lots of experience how wizards ask out witches. We's house-elves have watched what was well received and what not."

The other house-elves around Dobby nodded solemnly.

"We's now decided to pass on that knowledge to you, former Master Draco, so that's you can court Harry Potter's Grangy girl and distract her from making clothes for hard-working elves!"

The other elves nodded even more enthusiastically.

Malfoy shuttered.

This didn't sound good at all…

Malfoy wondered if his situation had turned worse after that proclamation or if it hadn't.

He guessed that the answer of that question could go both ways – it had to do with how you measured the worthiness of the crime.

"So the reason why a bunch of house-elves decided to snatch me from my warm bed in the middle of the night just to bind me to a kitchen chair – with shackles _and_ ropes! – was so that you could teach me how to ask a _girl_ out?!"

"Not just any girl, former Master Draco sir," Dobby corrected frowning. "We've brought you's here so that you's can learn how to ask out Harry Potter's Grangy girl!"

"Why by Merlin and Morgana does everybody think that I wanted to ask that girl out when I insulted her in the hallway! I insulted her! You should try to beat me up not try to teach me how to ask her out!" Malfoy tried to reason with the elves frantically.

To his utter confusion, Dobby nodded solemnly.

"Dobby would have thought about it, former Master Draco sir," the elf said sincerely. "But Dobby knows former Master. Former Master Draco was a good boy, just a bit spoiled. Dobby knows how former Master gets when denied something and Dobby has watched former Master and seen the same signs when it comes to Harry Potter's Grangy girl."

Malfoy turned green.

"Whatever you have seen, that's _definitely_ _ **not**_ it," he said faintly. "Absolutely _**not**_ it!"

The deranged house-elf just patter Malfoy on the head at that.

"Dobby knows," the house-elf crooned. "Dobby knows, former Master Draco sir!"

Malfoy definitely wasn't happy with that reaction!

"You know nothing, filth!" He cried unhappily.

The answer was just another pat on the head. Malfoy couldn't even prevent it, considering that his hands and feet were shackled to the chair and he was bound by robes for good measure as well.

He growled at the house-elf.

"Dobby wills be super-duper teacher to former Master Draco sir!" Dobby said. "Dobby knows Harry Potter's Grangy girl very well!"

"But I don't want to know anything about the mudblood!" Malfoy whined and received another consoling pat on the head as an answer.

"Of course, former Master Draco sir!" the deranged house-elf said with understanding in his voice and eyes. "Dobby knows you's is still hurting from rejection. Former Master Draco sir has always takens some time to gets over rejection. We's considered that when approaching former Master Draco sir. We's given him time to come to terms with Harry Potter's Grangy girl's rejection. Buts! It's Yule Ball in less than a week! Former Master Draco sir must learn now so that's he's ready to try again!"

"But I don't want to try again!" Malfoy whined.

Dobby just patted his head another time and then turned towards the other house-elves.

"House-elves!" He cried. "Who's willing to sacrifice themselves so that's former Master Draco sir can learn what's he needs to learn?"

"Sacrifice?!" Malfoy yelped, suddenly fearing the worst.

 _What kind of magic were those creatures planning to use on him?!_

 _What if their magic made sure that he was actually in love with Granger?!_

Malfoy didn't want to be in love with Granger!

One, very old house-elf stepped in front of the others.

"Cuddles is willing to sacrifice himself," he declared. "Cuddles is willing to endure a day of wizards' magic and acting like all wizards do!"

Malfoy shuddered.

 _Wizards' magic?!_

 _Acting like a wizard?!_

 _That didn't sound too good…_

Dobby nodded solemnly.

"We's will honour yours sacrifice," Dobby said. "You's be's allowed to work in the attic, the bathrooms or any other very dirty place you like for as many weeks as you like afterwards!"

The old elf nodded as seriously and solemnly as Dobby.

"Cuddles will do good work with acting like a wizard," he promised. "You's just teach yours former Master Draco sir so that's he can distract Harry Potter's Grangy girl from her mission!"

Dobby nodded and Malfoy felt utterly betrayed.

 _Shouldn't house-elves – even if he wasn't their master – take care of wizards?!_

These in here with him seemed to be more interested in torturing wizards than helping them _… what an uttermost betrayal!_

The next moment, Dobby's patting hand closed around some of Malfoy's blond locks and pulled.

"Ow!" Malfoy exclaimed. The house-elf just patted him again with the other hand while handing over Malfoy's hair to one of the other elves.

The elf had a potion vial filled with potion in its hand.

With sure hands, it added Malfoy's locks into the potion, closed the vial again and shook it.

Then it opened the vial and held it out to Cuddles.

The old elf nodded, took the potion and then popped away.

Malfoy stared at the place the old elf had been a second ago.

"Where did he go?" He asked fearfully.

And what did they plan to do with his hair in the potion?!

"Cuddles is going to give you an alibi, former Master Draco sir," Dobby declared proudly. "Dobby will show former Master Draco sir the most important parts of Harry Potter's Grangy girl's normal days."

Draco shuddered violently.

 _That didn't sound good at all…_

Regretfully, the house-elves where all convinced that it sounded like the absolute right thing to do…

So Draco Malfoy's day of weirdness and betrayal started.

After that, he would never look at house-elves ever the same.

The first stop he made, still bound and shackled to the chair, with Dobby as tour-guide and transport – was in the Gryffindor common room at six a.m. in the morning.

"Harry Potter's Grangy girl is always one of the firsts to wake up," Dobby began his description just when the girl came down the stairs to the girls' dorms. "She's not interested in make-up much, but she's always choosing her clothes very carefully.

"But I don't want to know anything about Granger's habits of clothing herself!" Malfoy whined. He half-hoped that Granger would hear him and stop his torture, but like the house-elves normally, he was neither seen nor heard by her.

"This year Harry Potter's Grangy girl uses this time to knit hats and others things," Dobby continued, solely acknowledging Malfoy's whine by another pat on the head. "All the others years she used this time to read. Harry Potter's Grangy girl loves to read."

"I know that already!" Malfoy grumbled. "She's a know-it-all, after all."

Sadly, he couldn't just walk away, even if he dearly wanted to!

The whole day they followed Granger around with an enthusiastic house-elf narrating her usual day to Malfoy.

In the Great Hall at lunch Malfoy finally also saw Cuddles again – looking and acting like Draco Malfoy. He was currently talking to Pansy.

Malfoy's eyes widened at that sight.

"That's me!" He said fearfully when laying eyes on the Draco Malfoy at the Slytherin table.

"That's Cuddles," Dobby corrected. "He's playing you's under potion so that's you can learn about Harry Potter's Grangy girl without being missed!"

Malfoy stared a bit green in the face at his double.

Then another thought hit him.

"Wait!" He said. "Where did you get that potion from?"

The deranged house-elf next to him stared at him as if he was insane.

"Professor Master Snapey sir," he replied in a voice that suggested that the answer to Malfoy's question should have been obvious.

"Snape?!" Malfoy screeched. " _Snape_ gave you the potion?!"

"Professor Master Snapey sir always makes all the potions for everysbody in Hoggywartsy!" Dobby explained patiently with a small sigh. "Professor Master Snapey sir is potion's master of Hoggywartsy after all!"

 _This was an even worse betrayal!_

Snape, friend of his father, godfather and his head of house had provided the potion that enabled toe house-elves to abduct and torture him!

 _How many more betrayals had Malfoy to suffer today?!_

At the end of the day, Malfoy was sat down in the kitchen again.

"Sos," Dobby said. "Nows former Master Draco sir will repeat what he has learned today about Harry Potter's Grangy girl. If he's been a good student, former Master Draco sir will be allowed to go. If he's not been good, former Master Draco sir will have 'detention' until he's a good student."

Malfoy gulped.

Needless to say, he had to go to detention.

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 _Just a little idea_

 _Hope you liked it_

 _Ebenbild_

 _PS: Since I already get complains...: Yes, I'm still working on 'Basilisk-Born'. I promise I'll update that as soon as I'm happy with what I have as the next chapter! I'm sorry that it takes some time, but unlike other stories both 'Basilisk-Born' and 'Why to sort...' are a bit more complex and less easy to write... T.T ~E._


	9. Chapter 9

_**Disclaimer**_ _: I'm too young to be Rowling so there is sadly no way Harry Potter is mine…_

 _ **Placing:**_ _Mid of fourth_ _year._

 _Challenge: 'Prompt of the day'. Prompt_ _: (_ _action) dancing._ _1476_ _words_ _._ _Gryffindor_ _,_ _Hogwarts_ _._

 _Just an idea I had thanks to some reviews which asked for one person in particular..._

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sSsSsSsSs

 _ **THE SLYTHERIN WAY**_

 _ **PART VI: An Unexpected Advice**_

sSs

Malfoy was thinking hard.

The last week and a half had been nothing like he had ever faced before. Slytherins, Gryffindors, Ravenclaws and even the house-elves and his own parents were talking about him and the mudblood…

Malfoy frowned and then shuddered at that thought.

There was _no_ him and the mudblood!

No, never!

"Draco, dearest," a sudden voice intercepted his train of thought sweetly. "Would you please return from your land of dreams to the here and now?"

The last word of the sentence on the other hand sounded a lot less sweet and a lot more threatening.

Malfoy blinked and stared at the glowering girl in his arms.

They were currently dancing – having a last, mandatory lesson before the Yule Ball.

"Did you say something, Pansy?" Malfoy said frowning.

The girl's face soured even more.

Then she hit the back of his head.

"Stop thinking of that mudblood and concentrate on dancing," she glowered. "You're stomping all over my feet!"

Malfoy gulped.

If his father heard that, Malfoy would be in trouble.

His father had paid for Malfoy's dancing lessons quite handsomely in the past, after all.

So Malfoy tried to pay attention.

Regretfully, it didn't last long.

Just a few minutes later he was back on pondering about the mudblood and all those people who had lost their marbles and thought he wanted to go out with that girl…

"Draco Malfoy!" Pansy finally growled and stepped on Malfoy's foot deliberately.

Malfoy was startled out of his thoughts again – this time by a sharp sting in his toes.

"Ow, Pansy, what -!"

"Stop thinking about your love-life and bring your head into the present!" Pansy growled. "If you drift of once more I will refuse to go with you to the Yule Ball anymore – friends or no friends!"

That at least gained Malfoy's attention.

"You know that you are the only one who's willing to go with me anymore!" Malfoy whined. "Everybody else thinks I'm just mopping after the mudblood!"

Pansy just frowned at him.

"Well," she said. "After that miserable display of dancing I'm not too sure that they're wrong!"

She looked at him darkly.

"An heir of a powerful family like yours bungling up his dances? That screams basically of a lovesick heart!" She said hotly.

Malfoy's eyes widened.

"I'm _not_ lovesick!" He exclaimed. "I'm not in love with Granger! I can't even fathom why everybody thinks that!"

Pansy looked at him with pity in her eyes.

"Because you behave as if you are," she pointed out with a sigh. "Honestly, Draco! Have you never noticed that you basically search her out wherever you go?"

Malfoy blinked in surprise.

He honestly had never thought of that before…

 _But truly? He and Granger?!_

He just shuddered at the thought of it!

"I'm not in love with the mudblood!" He repeated pouting.

Pansy raised her eyebrow.

"I never said you were," she pointed out. "But if you actually think about it – maybe there's more to that rumour that I originally thought?"

"NO!" Malfoy screeched.

"Mr Malfoy!"

Malfoy ducked but it was already too late, he had gained his head of house's ire.

"Please keep your immature denial of your puppy-crush out of my classroom!" The dour man sneered. "I am quite aware that those lessons are not necessary for you all and like you I'd love to do something else with my time – but that doesn't mean that you have the right to disrupt this _mandatory_ class!"

Malfoy blushed furiously.

"I'm sorry, sir," he said. "Won't happen again!"

The dour man stared at him for a moment, then he sneered.

"Meet me after this class ends in my office, Mr Malfoy," he said. "It seems that it's time that someone actually has a serious talk with you."

Malfoy slumped at that proclamation.

Pansy on the other hand patted him on the arm in consolation.

"I will write your parents so that they can buy the casket for your body," she said consolingly.

Malfoy shot her a dirty look, but Pansy just smiled and then forced him to return to dancing.

After two other horrible agonizing hours they were finally free to go – well, all of them but Malfoy who walked sullenly to his head of house's office.

Snape came in after him just a few minutes later.

The man frowned at him and gestured towards the wooden chair in front of his desk.

"Sit," he said. "And listen and I will make it short."

Malfoy did as he was told.

"You wanted to speak to me, sir," he said, a bit nervously as to why he had been called into his head of house's office.

The older man sighed and pinched his nose.

"Yes, Mr Malfoy," he said slowly and sourly. "I have indeed something to talk to you about."

With that, the man scrutinized Malfoy for a moment.

Then he sighed again.

"It came to my attention that your father obviously neglected to teach you how to ask out a girl," the sour man said. "As much as it pains me, as your head of house it is my responsibility to ensure that my students know how to get by in life – and asking a girl out sadly is part of that."

Malfoy stared at his teacher in horror.

"Sir," he squeaked. "You don't have to help me with that! I'm already getting help, honestly!"

The dour man just stared at Malfoy in disbelief.

"I know you, Mr Malfoy," he said. "You're far too proud to ask for help."

Malfoy gulped.

Of course, Snape was right – but then the man knew nothing about all those 'helpful' Gryffindors and Slytherins and Ravenclaws…

"But –"

"No buts, Mr Malfoy," Snape said sourly. "The faster we get to it, the faster we're done."

Malfoy wanted to cry.

His teacher sighed, pinched the bridge of his nose again, stood up and began his lecture.

"Girls," he said slowly. "Are like a complicated potion, Mr Malfoy. If you treat them right, like a potion something useful and astonishing will come out of it. If you are a dunderhead and treat them wrong on the other hand… well, like a potion they will explode – which you obviously already experienced with Miss Granger."

Snape looked even more sourly at that.

"Luckily for you, most girls are ready to forgive such uncivilized behaviour if you do the right thing and grovel," he continued on darkly. "Of course there are those girls of superior intellect that understand that a boy who treated them wrongly already will never treat them right. They won't forget or forgive you a slight like yours."

Malfoy gulped, but dared not to move from his place on the chair.

He was well aware that Snape would kill him if he tried to flee the room

But on the other hand he definitely didn't want his teacher to talk to him about girls…

It was absolutely embarrassing! Maybe even worse than his parents writing him what to do!

"Fortunately, Miss Granger, while intelligent, was influenced by her moronic leader and the other sidekick," Snape continued. "If the influence of the other two was strong enough, you still have a chance to correct your slight and tighten your hold on her heart before either the sidekick or the leader even know that Miss Granger is a girl."

Oh, yes, worst day of Malfoy's life.

He desperately wished that a hole would open up in the ground and swallow him whole.

"Now let me tell you how to grovel," his teacher continued, oblivious to Malfoy's mental pain.

When Malfoy was finally allowed to go, he basically ran to Pansy.

"Pansy!" He cried. "I need you to oblivate me – _now_!"

"And get thrown into Azkaban for attacking the Malfoy heir? No," Pansy replied not at least sorry for him.

Malfoy stared at her with his best puppy-dog-eyes.

"But Snape just gave me a lecture how to woo a girl," he said desperately.

Pansy winced in sympathy – sadly enough, sympathy wasn't enough to convince her.

"My answer is still 'no'," she said. "I'm not interested in dancing with the dementors instead of boys."

"But –"

"Draco, honey," she said sweetly and patted him on the cheek. "Whatever you say, the answer will still be 'no'. Just learn to live with your memory."

And with that she stood up and went into her dorm room to sleep.

Malfoy on the other hand broke down on the sofa crying – with his memory intact and alone in the common room.

Life wasn't fair.

"Maybe," he thought desperately. "The others are right. Maybe I'm truly in love with Granger and they just try to make me see it!"

 _And truthfully, if he went out with Granger nobody would harass him with good-meaning advice anymore…_

Needless to say, it wasn't as cut clear and easy as Malfoy imagined.

xXxXxXxXxXxSlytherinxXxXxXxWayxXxXxXxXxWayxXxXxXxXxSlytherinxXxXxXxXxXxXx

 _Well, this was Snape, just like promised._

 _Hope you liked it_

 _Ebenbild_


	10. Chapter 10

_**Disclaimer**_ _: I'm too young to be Rowling so there is sadly no way Harry Potter is mine…_

 _ **Placing:**_ _Mid of fourth_ _year._

 _ **Comment:**_

 _Oddly enough I'm always ask when this story starts to be dramione. I always thought the answer was in the summary… O.o_

 _Did I misunderstand what the word 'compliant' in 'canon compliant' actually means?! Maybe I need an explanation for that word if I used it wrongly…_

 _Ebenbild_

xXxXxXxXxXxSlytherinxXxXxXxWayxXxXxXxXxWayxXxXxXxXxSlytherinxXxXxXxXxXxXx

sSsSsSsSs

 _ **THE SLYTHERIN WAY**_

 _ **PART X: Behind The Scene, Act II**_

sSs

 _My dear Granger,_

 _Forgive me for my horrid actions of the past._

 _I will endeavour to not mention your impure blood in your presence if you just agree to go to the Yule Ball with me._

 _Sincerely_

 _Draco L. Malfoy_

 _Heir of the Malfoy Estate_

sSs

"Huh," Neville said and swallowed the bit of toast he had been chewing on before. He was looking over Hermione's shoulder to see the letter she had gotten this morning. "Maybe I should have stopped organizing those people harassing him about you and him a bit earlier," he said frowning. "Seems like Dobby broke him."

Hermione turned and raised an eyebrow at Neville.

The normally timid boy shrugged.

"What?" He said innocently. "Just because I don't have true friends in Gryffindor doesn't mean I don't have friends at all. Theo and I always got along splendidly."

Hermione's eyebrow was raised further.

"I also met Dobby last year. The elf is cute – and helpful, you know?" Neville added, his eyes huge and his face as innocent as he could make it. "It's not as if I planned to make Malfoy barmy. I wanted him to suffer a bit – not to break him, truly!"

Hermione snorted and rolled her eyes.

Then she pulled out a pen and scribbled one word beneath the letter before sending it back to Malfoy with the owl that brought it.

" _No_ ," she wrote.

"You're evil," she commented and added some more scrambled eggs to her plate. "Absolutely evil, Neville. I had no idea you had it in you!"

Neville looked at her innocently.

"I learned my lesson in confronting idiots directly in first year," he said, smiling sweetly. "I ended up in a full body bind back then, you remember?"

Hermione snorted in amusement.

"No," Neville added. "This is the safer way – and the more entertaining one as well."

He paused.

"Even if it led to Malfoy going barmy," he added thoughtfully and then shrugged. "Oh, well – first try and all that. The next time I'll do better."

The next time he would organize the DA against the Carrows. Unlike with Malfoy, he didn't care then if he drove them barmy or not…

xXxXxXxXxXx

 _Dear Granger,_

 _Please accept my invitation to the Yule Ball. I promise you that you will have a perfect time at the ball and I won't ignore you even if I am from superior standing compared to you._

 _Sincerely_

 _Draco L. Malfoy_

 _Heir to the Malfoy Estate_

sSs

"What've you got there, 'Mione?" Ron asked, his mouth filled with his breakfast.

Hermione grimaced at his table manners, but answered anyway.

"A letter from Malfoy," she said calmly.

Ron's eyes widened.

"Bloody hell!" He exclaimed. "Why's that ferret writing to you?"

Hermione shrugged and cleaned up some of the table that Ron had spewed on while talking with a full mouth, a disgusted expression on her face.

"It's the second letter I've got from him," she said.

Ron's eyes widened further and he spluttered and opened his mouth to say something more.

"Don't," Harry said, stopping him before he could actually utter a word. "If you say something she'll sell you to Slytherins for 'lessons how to woo a girl'. Believe me, it's not worth it!"

Hermione looked at Harry amused.

"But it helped, didn't it?" She asked him. "You asked out Cho, after all."

Harry frowned.

"Well," he said slowly. "Ron asked out Fleur as well – and he didn't have those lessons…"

"Ron asking out that girl was a disaster from start to finish," Hermione pointed out reasonably. "I don't think your learned ability to ask out a girl was ever that bad."

Harry winced while Ron blushed.

"No," Harry admitted reluctantly. "I guess the lessons _did_ help even if I _was_ rejected."

He didn't look too happy with that revelation and Hermione decided not to point out that Ron also had been under the influence of vela allure. Like it was now, Harry had at least gained a grudging respect for all the other Slytherins with the exceptions of Malfoy, Crabbe and Goyle.

But then, it would be very cold in hell if Harry would have changed his views on Malfoy just because him meeting another Slytherin…

"You're not the only one who ever was rejected," Hermione said and rolled her eyes. "You should just continue asking others!"

Harry frowned and sighed.

Hermione grimaced and resolved to speak to Parvati. If she remembered it correctly, the poor girl hadn't found a date yet.

Then Hermione's eyes wandered to Ron and she actually sighed.

 _Maybe she should ask if Parvati knew someone else without a date as well…_

"But why is the ferret writing you?" Ron piped up in that moment, reminding Hermione of the letter in her hands.

She shrugged.

"Because he's a moron who snapped after a bit too much… Neville," she said amused while pulling out a quill and adding one word to the missive before giving it to the owl to return it to the sender.

" _No,_ " she wrote.

Harry and Ron exchanged a confused glance.

"I can't remember Neville blowing up a cauldron and dosing Malfoy in his potion, can you?" Ron asked Harry.

Harry shook his head, as confused as his best friend.

Hermione snorted in amusement and added some bacon to the scrambled eggs on her plate.

 _Boys._

It would take years until Harry and Ron would find out what Neville had done to Malfoy…

xXxXxXxXxXx

 _My dearest Hermione Granger,_

 _Please accept my invitation to the Yule Ball. I will even make sure that you will have a dress befitting for a girl going out with the Malfoy Heir._

 _Sincerely_

 _Draco L. Malfoy_

 _Heir to the Malfoy Estate_

sSs

"Miss Granger!" Hermione snapped to attention when her potions professor spoke up from behind her.

She turned around and saw the man frowning at the letter in her hands.

"Yes, Professor?" She asked, wondering if he would give her a detention for reading her mail at breakfast instead of eating.

The professor sneered at the letter in her hands and then looked her in the eyes.

"Meet me in my office after breakfast," he said with distaste in his voice.

"Yes, sir," Hermione squeaked while wondering what he wanted from her.

"And bring this… _letter_ ," her teacher added.

Hermione nodded.

"Yes, sir," she said, still a bit fearful and confused.

Whatever she had expected, she hadn't expected her teacher to take the letter and read it over the moment she entered the office.

The dour man's face darkened further.

"This is unacceptable," he said coolly. "If you wish, Miss Granger, I will talk to Mr Malfoy and correct his behavior again. It seems that he didn't listen to me when I explained to him how to grovel to a girl."

Hermione did a double take at that exclamation.

For a moment, she was actually tempted to say 'yes' to the professor's offer, but in the end, she shook her head.

"No, thank you, Professor," she said while trying not to think of her professor lecturing Malfoy on 'how to grovel to a girl'. She would have burst into laughter otherwise. "I will manage it myself."

"Of course," Snape said sourly. "Just don't forget that Slytherins often decide to ignore things that aren't written with respectable manners. Mr Malfoy, as badly as he's acting, is one of those who insist on proper manners especially in writing."

"Thank you for the advice, sir," Hermione replied while Snape handed back her letter.

That evening she composed her answer before sending it off with a school owl.

sSs

 _Dear Malfoy,_

 _No._

 _Sincerely_

 _Hermione J. Granger_

 _Heir to the Granger Practice_

sSs

Hermione would never find out that Snape locked himself away the moment she had left his office so that he could laugh about Malfoy's letter without being seen by anybody.

Of course, Snape was well aware that Malfoy had just started to write those letters because of his lecture – but then, somewhere you had to get your amusement from, didn't you?

xXxXxXxXxXx

 _Dear Hermione J. Granger,_

 _Would you please go to the Yule Ball with me? I mean, I know, you have a date and I have a date, but if it pleases you we could stand them up and go together. I even promise you, that I won't insult you for the whole evening even if I have to hex myself silent._

 _Sincerely_

 _Draco L. Malfoy_

 _Heir of the Malfoy Estate_

sSs

"This sounds as if Draco Malfoy wishes you to enter an affair with him," Luna remarked after plucking the letter from a gawking Hermione's numb fingers. "Very unsettling, I understand."

Luna crooked her head at the letter.

"Maybe he's affected by wrackspurts?" She mused. "That could explain his odd behavior over the last weeks."

She frowned.

"I will have to ensure that they can't get to him anymore," she said, still frowning with a dreamy expression on her face. "I guess I have to bring my spectrespecs to our next meeting to ensure that I can see how bad he's affected by them."

She nodded to herself.

"Yes," she said. "That seems like the best course of action for now."

Hermione blinked and then frowned at the girl in Ravenclaw attire.

"Excuse me," she finally said. "But what are you doing at our table?"

Luna blinked at her and her dreamy eyes basically looked through her.

"Oh," she said airily. "Your pudding is so much better than the Ravenclaw one. I always come here for pudding, you know?"

Hermione blinked, but in the end slowly nodded.

"If you think so," she said skeptically.

Luna just smiled at her and then pointed at the letter.

"Won't you answer this?" She asked interestedly.

Hermione looked back at the letter, rolled her eyes and then pulled out a quill.

 _Respectfully – wasn't that what Professor Snape had told her?_

 _Well, Malfoy could have respectful if he wanted to._

Hermione nodded in resolve and started to write her answer.

sSs

 _Dear Malfoy_

 _No. Never._

 _Sincerely_

 _Hermione J. Granger_

 _Heir to the Granger Practice_

sSs

She would never know that Luna watched her write before slinking away to the dungeons.

In Luna's eyes, Hermione had been formal enough to appease the potions professor of Hogwarts and his wish for formal interactions even between students when it came to written work.

xXxXxXxXxXx

 _My dearest Hermione J. Granger,_

 _Please excuse my poorly worded letters until now._

 _I want you to tell you, that the red of your school uniform fits splendidly to your plain brown hair. Your corrected front teeth also look quite passable after Madam Pomphrey shrunk them for you._

 _I know, we have had our differences in the past, but please consider to stand up your date so that you can go to the school ball with me._

 _Sincerely_

 _Draco L. Malfoy_

 _Heir to the Malfoy Estate_

sSs

"Malfoy…"

"… Has still…"

"… A lot…"

"… More than a lot…"

"… To learn," The twins commented after removing Malfoy's newest letter from a laughing Hermione's fingers.

"Seems that he didn't heed our advice at all, brother dear," one of them said and the other nodded gravely.

"Seems he did, brother," he agreed.

The twins looked at each other and then pondered what to do next.

Then one of them shrugged and turned the letter so that they had some space on the parchment.

The other twin's eyes lit up.

"Splendid idea, brother dear!" He said. "Absolutely splendid idea!"

And while Hermione was still fighting her laugher, the twins started to compose a letter.

"Dear Malfoy," one of them dictated the other. "Regretfully, after such a letter, we have to decline your invitation to the Yule Ball on the behalf of one Hermione J. Granger. We assure you, that we recognize your try, but we are also quite disappointed that you thought you could get away with a try via letter. No self-respecting girl should even think about accepting an invitation like that if the boy in question is just on the other side of the hall.

With the offer of further instructions on how to woo a girl.

Sincerely,

The Weasley Twins."

Then they handed the letter back to Hermione who was still snickering.

She read through their answer, laughed again and then added her own answer.

sSs

 _Dear Malfoy_

 _No._

 _Sincerely_

 _Hermione J. Granger_

 _Heir to the Granger Practice_

sSs

She would never see the gleeful faces of the Weasley twins when she handed them back the letter.

Later that evening a howler would shout down the whole Great Hall, giving Malfoy his answer verbally.

xXxXxXxXxXx

 _My dearest Hermione J. Granger,_

 _I apologize for accosting you with my letters. I also apologize for asking you to give up your date for the Yule Ball. I understand, that you know it would be difficult for me to reject my date now that I already declared my intentions of going with her._

 _I will crease to ask – especially in letters._

 _Sincerely_

 _Draco L. Malfoy_

 _Heir to the Malfoy Estate_

sSs

Luna leaned back into the shadows while watching the Gryffindor girl roll her eyes at the letter.

"Should I stop harassing Draco Malfoy now?" She asked the shadows behind her.

"Not yet," was the dour answer. "He hasn't yet understood that he can't have everything. I can't stand his temper tantrums and I have no intention of suffering further ones just because I refused to give him some of my expensive ingredients to muck around with. The moment I have my revenge and he'll ask out Granger, you can stop."

"As you wish, Professor," Luna replied dreamily. "I'm glad that I don't have to stop immediately. I still have some plans for Draco Malfoy."

The smile on her face was creepy enough that even the professor felt a shiver running down his back.

He didn't want to actually know how many 'how-to-woo-a-girl's the Malfoy heir would still have to suffer within the last days to the Yule Ball.

For a moment he wondered if recruiting the crafty Ravenclaw girl to torture the Malfoy heir had been a mistake, but then he reassured himself that the girl had started to do Malfoy's teaching on her own and that he had just edged her on to continue until he said that it was enough.

This would be the last time the Malfoy heir would dare to have a temper tantrum because a detention in front of him!

sSs

"Maybe we truly should stop sending people at Malfoy to show him how to ask out a girl," Neville said concerned to the boy next to him while watching Hermione reading the Malfoy heir's newest letter. "I'm afraid that we drove him crazy already…"

Theo shrugged.

"Crazy or not crazy," he said evenly. "With Malfoy, there's no difference anyway."

Neville raised an eyebrow at the other boy.

"So you want to continue?" He asked amused.

Theo shrugged.

"Until the Yule Ball," he said. "After all, you have four years of aggravation to work of and I have several months of payback to admitter. There's no way that we will be done before the Yule Ball."

"Well, you're right," Neville said nodding. "But what about Hermione? It might give her some trouble if we continue…"

Theo waved it off.

"I talked to her," he said. "She doesn't mind and she knows that I'm on it. She didn't know about you, but she knew about me all along."

Neville nodded.

"Alright," he said before hesitating. "Still," he said slowly. "Adding the Weasley twins and the house-elves to the chaos was evil. Ingenious – but pure evil!"

Theo grinned, baring his teeth at Neville.

"You were the one who added the house-elves," he reminded Neville.

Neville just shrugged.

"I had to trump the Weasley twins after all," he reminded his partner in crime. "I couldn't have done so without the house-elves."

Theo nodded.

"True," he said amused. "Too true, my friend."

Then his grin turned feral.

"And now let me hunt down some Ravenclaws who owe me a favour," he added. "We wouldn't want our dear Prince of Slytherin to believe that he has succeeded in ridding himself of his new enthusiastic advisors, after all!"

sSs

Hermione meanwhile just smiled at the letter, her grin as feral as Theo's.

"I just hope that the boys and Luna don't drive Malfoy crazy for real," she said to herself. "I'm quite sure that even Madam Pomphrey can't heal crazy."

Then she shrugged.

"Oh, well," she said to herself. "It's Yule Ball in three days. He will sure survive until then!"

With that she folded the letter and stood up to hunt down Parvati.

"Hey, Parvati!" She called. "I heard you don't have a date for the Yule Ball!"

Yep, after Hermione was done with the Malfoy Heir, said boy would never even dare to come near her again when she was alone…

xXxXxXxXxXxSlytherinxXxXxXxWayxXxXxXxXxWayxXxXxXxXxSlytherinxXxXxXxXxXxXx

 _Just a little gaze behind the scene…_

 _Hope you liked it_

 _Ebenbild_


	11. Chapter 11

_**Disclaimer**_ _: I'm too young to be Rowling so there is sadly no way Harry Potter is mine…_

 _ **Placing:**_ _Mid of fourth_ _year._

xXxXxXxXxXxSlytherinxXxXxXxWayxXxXxXxXxWayxXxXxXxXxSlytherinxXxXxXxXxXxXx

sSsSsSsSs

 _ **THE SLYTHERIN WAY**_

 _ **PART XI**_

sSs

"Miss Granger," Hermione stopped in the middle of the hallway and turned around after being addressed so formally.

Behind her, stood Malfoy.

He was dressed in his best robes, his hair was carefully slicked back and he had a single flower in his hand.

He held out the flower to her, his face showing slightly hidden disgust and desperation.

"Miss Granger," he repeated. "Please accept this flower from me as an apology for my previous behaviour. It was inexcusable."

Hermione raised an eyebrow at the Malfoy Heir.

"If it was inexcusable, why do you even bother to try and get me to accept your apology, Mr Malfoy?" She asked as formally as he had been.

Malfoy blinked in confusion and surprise.

"What?" He asked, clearly out of his comfort zone with that question. "What are you talking about, Granger?"

Hermione raised an eyebrow at the boy in front of her.

"You yourself declared your behaviour inexcusable – yet you wish me to accept your pitiful flower as an apology for something that I shouldn't excuse according to your own declaration," she replied.

Malfoy gawked.

"But… but…," he stuttered, now totally thrown. "You have to accept my apology!"

Hermione raised an eyebrow.

"Why?" She asked plainly.

"Because I did it right, this time around!" Malfoy argued.

Hermione just stared at him.

"You were the one who told me what you did was inexcusable – so why should I forgive something that shouldn't be forgiven according to you?"

"Because… because," Malfoy stopped, clearly not sure what to say to that, then his face hardened. "Because that's what properly raised witches would do! That you don't just shows me that you aren't raised properly!"

"Is it?" Hermione asked with a raised eyebrow. "But if properly raised witches forgive words and actions like the ones you showed towards me – shouldn't those actions be excusable somehow and not inexcusable as you called them?"

Malfoy stared at her with an open mouth, clearly unsure what to answer to that.

Hermione just looked at him calmly.

"Don't look at me like that, Malfoy," she said. "I just pointed out the discrepancy in your logic."

"But… but you have to forgive me, Granger! I'm a pure… I mean you're just a mu… I mean you… you just have to forgive me!" He stuttered.

Hermione looked at him interestedly.

"Why?" She repeated.

"Because it's simply done like that!" Malfoy whined.

Hermione thought it over, in the end she shrugged.

"If it's so important to you, you can have my forgiveness for your name calling as long as it won't happen again from now on," she replied. "Just know that everybody will know if you break your oath from now on."

Malfoy nodded eagerly and Hermione took the pitiful flower he held out to her.

"So… does that mean you're going to the Yule Ball with me?" Malfoy asked.

Hermione frowned.

"That means that I forgive you the name calling in the past," she corrected him. "I already have a date for the Yule Ball – and as far as I know you have one, too."

"Yes, of course," Malfoy replied. "It's a day before the ball, after all."

Hermione raised an eyebrow.

"So if you have a date and know that I have a date – why do you even bother to ask me out to the Yule Ball again?" She wanted to know. "That doesn't seem very logical to me."

Malfoy frowned.

"But that's what it all started, isn't it?" He asked confused. "You and everybody else wanted that I go to the Yule Ball with you…"

Hermione sighed.

"Oh, Malfoy," she said and shook your head. "You have still a lot to learn."

Then she smiled at him in amusement.

"But maybe, just maybe, you will actually manage to grow up before Harry and Ron do," she added to sooth the other boy. "But then, that's as likely as you being Professor Snape's lovechild with your mother…"

"I'm not the lovechild of the Professor and my mother!" Malfoy screeched.

"Exactly," Hermione said smiling. "That was exactly the point I wanted to make. Well done for pointing it out so clearly."

And with that, she sent him another evil smile, turned around and left, leaving a confused looking Malfoy and some hidden listeners in her wake.

"Snape's lovechild," Theo said thoughtfully. "Hmmm… maybe if I tweak that rumour and change Snape into somebody else…"

"Like Filch?" Neville asked him interestedly. "Or Hagrid?"

Theo flashed him a smile.

"Oh!" He said amused. "You're evil, Nev, really, really evil!"

"What exactly are you two… planning again?" A voice interrupted the two plotters before they could develop a plan of action.

Theo's eyes widened, but then he smiled, Neville on the other hand looked as if he wanted to be everywhere else but where he was.

"P… Professor S… Snape!" He stuttered fearfully.

Theo threw his friend a concerned glance and then looked back at his Head of House.

"We're just planning to tweak the rumour mill a bit further, sir," he said unconcerned.

"They're planning to exchange your name with the caretaker's or Hagrid's," a dreamy voice spoke up. "We could also add to the list that he is the lovechild of Professor Trelawney with his father."

The two boys looked surprised at the airy looking Ravenclaw that was following the Professor in his wake.

The Professor raised an eyebrow.

"Indeed," he said slowly. "You are aware, Ms. Lovegood, that as a teacher I should stop the defaming of another student's character?"

The Ravenclaw just looked up at the Professor innocently.

"It's not as if we're spreading the rumour, sir," she said unconcerned. "We're just tweaking it. Spreading it is done by others already."

With that she gestured at the other students who had been listening to the new exchange of Draco Malfoy and Hermione Granger.

The Professor followed her hand with his gaze.

"Indeed," he said slowly. "Then I guess there's no reason to stop you."

With that he turned around and walked swiftly down the hallway towards his office.

Neville looked at his Slytherin friend, still green in the face.

"Did he just now actually approve of our plan?" He asked faintly.

"Of course," Luna Lovegood replied. "He's even willing to help. Now – don't dandle. We have a rumour to plan, after all!"

With that she grabbed Neville with her right hand and Theo with her left and dragged them off to do just that.

Just a few hours later, half of the school was talking about the fact that Hermione Granger accused Draco Malfoy of being the lovechild of Filch after he refused to understand that she was already taken for the Yule Ball…

Poor Malfoy would hide away for the rest of the day and the next one until the Yule Ball. It seemed to him, that he would never get rid of the rumour of him and Granger ever again…

xXxXxXxXxXxSlytherinxXxXxXxWayxXxXxXxXxWayxXxXxXxXxSlytherinxXxXxXxXxXxXx

 _And I've reached the Yule Ball. I've still planned a scene or two, but the story's nearly finished now…_

 _Hope you liked the chapter_

' _Till next time_

 _Ebenbild_


End file.
